The 20 best Bridget Jones quotes

Posted by Fred Alien on

The new Bridget Jones movie (Bridget Jones's Baby) is in cinemas from Friday 16th September, and we've launched a brand new movie gift box that features the original movie. To get you further in the mood, we've pulled together the top 20 quotes from Bridget herself and other great quotes from the original film ...
Bridget Jones movie gift box
Counting down from number 1 ...
Bridget Jones
1) “I will not sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance,complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend.”
Bridget Jones
2) “Tom has a theory that homosexuals and single women in their thirties have natural bonding: both being accustomed to disappointing their parents and being treated as freaks by society.”
Bridget Jones
3) “Oh, God, I'm so lonely. An entire weekend stretching ahead with no-one to love or have fun with. Anyway, I don't care. I've got a lovely steamed ginger pudding from M&S to put in the microwave.”
Bridget Jones
4) “When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts which adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?”
Bridget Jones
5) “As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.”
Bridget Jones
6) “Can I officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.”
Bridget Jones
7) “Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs...Mum…! Hi…!”
Bridget Jones
8) "I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much."
Bridget Jones
9) “It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”
Bridget Jones
10) “You only get one life. I've just made a decision to change things a bit and spend what's left of mine looking after me for a change.”
Bridget Jones
11) "Natasha, this is Bridget Jones. Bridget works in a publishing house and she used to play around naked in my paddling pool."
Bridget Jones
12) “I realise it has become too easy to find a diet to fit in with whatever you happen to feel like eating and that diets are not there to be picked and mixed but picked and stuck to, which is exactly what I shall begin to do once I've eaten this chocolate croissant.”
Bridget Jones
13) “Alcohol units: 5. Drowning sorrows. Cigarettes: 23. Fumigating sorrows. Calories: 3,856. Smothering sorrows in fat duvet.”
Bridget Jones
14) "At times like this, continuing with one's life seems impossible... and eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable. I have two choices: to give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood and eventual eating by Alsatians, or not. And this time I choose not. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect! Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Khan."
Bridget Jones
15) "Tell me, is it one in four marriages that end in divorce these days, or one in three?"
Bridget Jones
16) “I keep telling you nobody wants legs like a stick insect. They want a bottom they can park a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.”
Bridget Jones
17) “I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing.”
Bridget Jones
18) “I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen.”
Bridget Jones
19) "This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers."
Bridget Jones
20) "The only thing worse than smug married couple; lots of smug married couples."

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